117 - In Search of a Stress Free Life

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All right, let's see how this goes. I got really bad allergies

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right now. So I feel like I'm all nasally. A couple things

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that came up that I thought would be interesting to talk

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about. So on a recent call, I was, I think I talked about this

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last week for the this entrepreneur group that I'm in

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the subject of the month was overcoming, or dealing with

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overwhelm, and anxiety and shit like that in business. And the

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last call was a q&a call. And this one guy asked a question, I

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don't remember exactly the question, but it was like

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something along the lines of asking advice on how to do

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pretty much like a complete 180 on his life. Because, you know,

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he was saying, like, you know, his health is relationships, his

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business, like everything has gone downhill, like his fitness

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level, and all this stuff. And one of the answers to the

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question was kind of harsh, but I kind of agree with it. And in

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a sense, he said something like, your life is a shit show, man,

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what are you going to do about it? So I don't know, I can

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understand how some people might be put off by that. But for me,

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that's kind of like the kind of advice I like, it's just like,

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let's not beat around the bush man. Like, if you really have to

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take, if you really need a whole 180 Like you're, you're all out

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of shape. Your relationships are bad, you're not doing what

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you're supposed to do in your business. Sometimes that's what

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you need is a is sort of like a harsh. I don't even know if it's

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harsh, but you see need a direct response, you know, and so I had

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read this book called thick face, black heart actually only

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read half of it. And then I got sidetracked. And I kind of

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forgot that I had this. And I don't remember what it was, but

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some something made me want to look at it. I don't know if

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like, I just thought about it, I don't know. So I picked it up.

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And I looked at the bookmark where I was. And there was a

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passage in there that I thought was really interesting. And this

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whole chapter here is about endurance is chapter six. And it

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relates to all the stuff that we were talking about similar

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things to what we're talking about this month in that group.

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One of the things I found particularly interesting was

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this one passage on page 141, it's talking about in search of

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a stress free life. And it says like, imagine if you can get

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this magic pill where if you took it, then all of a sudden,

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you don't have any problems, and no negative experiences or

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anything like that. And it's asking the reader like wouldn't,

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wouldn't you be so happy and stress free and have just such a

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good, easy life. And then it goes on to say that you most

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likely wouldn't, because as humans, you need to have

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obstacles to overcome in order to actually be happy. So, you

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know, if if you didn't have any kind of things to deal with,

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that wouldn't actually lead to being stress free, it probably

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would actually stress you out a little bit, because you'd be

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just everything be working out. And you wouldn't have any kind

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of like, you know, mountains to climb or any of that kind of

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stuff. So I thought it was pretty cool how it was

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approached, I'll just read part of this. It says the absence of

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negative experience in our life does not alone contribute to the

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quality of our life. As humans, we need challenges in order to

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develop fully and bring forth all of the positive aspects

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within ourselves, the only way to feel truly happy is by

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confronting these challenges and overcoming them. I just thought

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that was pretty cool. And I like that, that sort of idea. So I

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had read this chapter a while back months back, so I was just

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skimming through just to see what else was in there. And

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there's a lot of lot of cool stuff in here. And one thing

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that stood out to me in here also was, I don't know what

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these are these like little passages in this chapter. But

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it's number seven is it says live life as if it were someone

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else's. And this, the way that the writer is describing this,

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it lines up pretty well with stoic philosophy, they because

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they talk about something similar. It's about being able

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to give yourself the same advice that you would give another

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person because I'm sure we've all experienced it where

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somebody will come to you with a problem and you feel like you

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have all these good answers, and good advice to give that person

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but then when it's when it's you that's dealing with the same

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stuff. You're you're caught up all in the emotions of the of

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the shit you're dealing with. And it's hard to give yourself

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the same advice. So I thought that was pretty cool that

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parallel in stoic philosophy, but like all this stuff, and I

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remember we were just talking about the team and I at the

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shop, were reading the Untethered Soul. And in that

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last meeting, I was like, you know, this stuff is all cool.

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And it's cool to think about, but it's like, I struggle with

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how do you actually implement that into your life? Because

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when you're in the shit of this stuff, when you're in the thick

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of the stuff that you're dealing with, it's hard to just like, I

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don't know, just allow these things to like when you're

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struggling was something and then you think, oh, yeah,

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remember that thing I've written in that book. It's like, the

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struggle is part of the, it's part of the journey. And like

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you need that, in order to get to the next level. And to

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actually achieve happiness is to overcome these things. It's

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like, it's cool to know that stuff, but I don't know, I have

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a hard time, like really letting it letting it help. But at the

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same time, I don't know, I don't think that's exactly true.

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Because when I do practice, the things that I read about in the,

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in the the sort of like concepts, when I actually put

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them into practice, they, I do find them very helpful. And one

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of the things that that I've always found really helpful, and

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I've talked about it a bunch of times is like, when you're

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actually going through the shit. And this, this, this is just

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kind of rewarded and different concepts that I've heard before.

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You know, like Marcus Anderson talks about the gift of

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adversity and other lots of people talk about strength

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through adversity and all these kinds of things. And this is

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similar to similar thing, it's just a slightly different way of

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looking at it, like, understanding that, like, true

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happiness is overcoming that stuff. So when I do put it into

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practice, I do find that kind of stuff helpful. Like when I when

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I'm really struggling with something, one of the things I

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like to do is go outside, it just just feel gratitude for

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those things. Because I know that there's something good on

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the other side of it, like once you overcome it, once you get

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past it, at the very least, you're going to build up some

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kind of resilience and all this kind of stuff. But usually, when

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there's some kind of struggles, a lot of times, I don't know, it

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seems there's a reason for it. So like mine, my stress mainly

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comes from like business and stuff like that. So I, I do

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find, find it easy to be grateful for that. Because I

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know that that's part of the that's part of the deal. That's

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what I signed up for. So it's like, a lot all the stress and

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anxiety and all this kind of stuff, not only part of the

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deal. But when things are difficult, a lot of times,

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that's a good sign that you're heading in a in the right

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direction. So I think something that I need to do more, and I

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think other people could probably benefit from this is to

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use some of these ideas to sort of put yourself in, in

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situations that you need to overcome and cultivate mental

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toughness. So one thing I've been trying to force myself to

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do, again, is cold showers. And I know a lot of people might

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think that that's not like a big deal. But it is a big deal to

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some people. And it's like, when you get into like a completely

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cold shower, like I'll set a timer for five minutes, and I

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can't get out. You know, the small things like that. And it's

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like five minutes, it's not a huge deal. But it's like, while

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you're in there, all you want to do is get out. And before you

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get in, you're like all I want to do is not get into this cold

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shower. But once you're done with it, you feel a sense of I

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don't know. I don't know, I don't know how to explain it,

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but you've accomplished something, you've you won a

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small battle with your mind. By doing that, you know, and

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there's other I don't know, I always feel really good after a

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cold shower like the bloods pumping. And I don't know, it's

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good for you, supposedly, who knows. But you did overcome

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something hard. And so finding little things in your life, when

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things are going well, finding little things that are harder, I

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think is a good way to prepare yourself for the bigger things.

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And so it really comes down to building mental toughness. This

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was initially going to be a really long one that a really

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long but a longer episode because like I had a whole bunch

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of bullet points. But at the end of the day, I was just like, I

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don't know, I didn't really, I don't know, once I was reading

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it, I was like, I don't really want to, in my opinion, it

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doesn't really require a whole lot of bullet points and a whole

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lot of action steps. It's mainly just understanding that the

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hardships and in your life are part of the process. And it's

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not about eliminating the stressful shit in your life, but

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overcoming it. And when I say not eliminating it, part of it

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also is like if if you have like, negative people in your

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life are people that only bring stress and only bring bad shit

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to the table like, of course, get rid of that, you know, but

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it's not it's not about that's not really what it's about. I

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mean, it's about like, I don't know, it's about exactly what I

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just said, like overcoming the hardship, you know, in whatever

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form that is for you. Because that in the end at the end of

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the day, that's that's how you actually generate real

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happiness. And so, we'll see. We'll see if that's true. I

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don't know I'm working on it

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all right. I appreciate each and every one of you guys who are

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supporting the cause and continue to spread the love and

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yeah stay up